Didn't make a vid... Nor took any pictures... ^^'' uuuuuuuups.. We were too tired X'D Stayed up too late. I fell asleep at 3am. And the night wasn't too great for me. I kept having these nightmares and I constantly woke up. First of all it was too hot in the room, but removing the blanked made me feel somewhat uncertain. And I also accidentaly might have made someone angry yesterday. I felt so bad for it. I left a couple messages, but got no answer. So I sent another message in the morning asking for a chance to talk ('cause we won't be seeing each other for a while and I don't want this on my shoulders for a long period of time). Got a positive answer, so we're going to talk in the evening. And I'm nervous. I just want to say that I'm sorry, but still I feel like I'm being too presistant and annoying and also feel like I'm being hated. I can tell you that it isn't the best feeling in the world. I'm trying to figure out the way that I'm going to talk to him. That's what kept me up most of the night.
"Hey.. I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry...--"
"I'm sorry.--"
"Hey.. How's it going? ..about what I said in the morning about wanting to talk to you. I wanted to say that I'm really sorry.--"
Having a little trouble here. I can't make up what to say. Sounds really stupid, but I can't help the tears coming to my eyes. I mean, I know I didn't really say anything that bad, nor that he was that angry but it just bugs me so bad! God I wish there was a way for me to tell him just how sorry I really am, but it's kinda hard to do with just messages. Damn it! Gotta pull myself together! I'm scared... I don't want to fight any more. I'm just sick of it. And I have this terrible feeling on the back of my mind that something I'll say today will just make things worse. What on earth am I supposed to do? I hope that saying that I'm sorry is enough... I just don't know what else to say. The problem comes when I'm asked that what am I sorry for. *sigh* too many things to be sorry about. I'm stupid aren't I? ^^ oh god I hope things will work out. I don't want to be hated. ;;-----;;
This is one of those "fuck my life" moments for me. The part that feels the worst right now is the waiting. I wish I'd get to say that I'm sorry already and just clear things up. IT'S SO HARD TO WAIT!!! I'm trying to resist the urge of sending another message saying what I have to say in that, 'cause I know the person who I want to apologize to is busy at the moment. And I don't want to spoil his whole day with this. .....shit I am so nervous and scared!!!!!
Ei kommentteja:
Lähetä kommentti