Sick & tired

I've been feeling sick again! So I stayed home and didn't go to school. I'm tired even though I slept for about 12 hours today, might have slept a bit too much : (

Only a copule more days before I leave to Helsinki! I'm very excited. I'm gonna go to school tomorrow, so that I'll be able to see my dear friend Elina after school. She is my very best friend, and I want to see her before my trip. And we need to make plans for the vacation too. ; )I can't wait to see my sister and her boyfriend, since it's been such a long time since I last saw them.

I'm also excited to go to Helsinkin, because there are quite many shops there, that I can visit so rarely. Now I go and spend my money on clothes and accesories, manga & anime.

Hmm

I was happy to notice that this monday wasn't as bad as it usually is. I managed to get okay numbers from my last test week. I didn't fail a single class, which I'm so happy about! Although that doesn't mean that I can relax now. I have to keep working hard so I won't fail any classes this period too.

Yesterday I heard about somethings of which I wasn't happy about at all, but I also realized that I might have the best friends anyone can have. The two people who are the most important to me are friends I can't affort to lose. No matter how stupid it might sound, but I was so happy that I cried yesterday. I've had some bad moments and suicidal thoughts (and attempted suicide a couple times in the past...) but even though now I'm having harder times than I had back then, when I was already giving up, I've managed to live thru it mostly because of these two friends of mine. They mean so much to me and I mean a lot to them too. They are like light at the end of the tunnel or the missing piece of me, that I've never found before.

I'd probably be dead, if I wouldn't have met these two girls. I'm quite sure about it.

Now back to work! Have to work on my essey today, so that I'll get it done in time.

darn

I haven't been on such a happy mood today nor yesterday. Yesterday I had a bit of a figght with this guy, which I'm still a little bit annoyed by. I'm a weird person in that way. I might say that I'll forgive you, but I'm still very angry. I would describe myself as a "cold fighter". I don't show emotion on my face too much, even though I'm boiling inside, but you can tell that I'm angry by the way that I speak. And I don't forget the anger for a long time and it's hard to make me do that.

Anyway, only 4 more days until I'll leave to Helsinki! I can't wait to go there. I'll see my sister and her boyfriend. It's been a loooong time since we last saw eachother and it's been way too long since I last went to Helsinki. I'm sure I'll use up way too much money there, but oh well. This is what I've been saving it for. I'll leave thursday night and come back early on the monday morning. I'm not sure if I'll be posting anything durning the time I'm there, 'cause I don't know if I'll take my parents laptop with me. I hope I'll remember to take it with me, so that I could update this blog and mmaybe even take videos to youtube, to show how the trip went.

Horses?

I was afraid of horses when I was a little girl. But now that I met my friend's horse Fifi, I fell in love with her. She was sooooo nice! She didn't bite, didn't kick, nothing at all. I got to walk and do tricks with her and she wa adorable ♥

Then we went to help you my friend's brother and look after his kids and dog, while he was away. We stayed there for quite a long time, even longer than we were supposed to. We finally got to leave at 02.10 am. We were so tired that I nearly passed out on the way back... As soon as we stepped inside we ran to bed.

but can't write now, going to go watch a movie with my mom. ♥

---

Damn it.

I literally don't want to see someone at all. I was pissed off yesterday because he kept going on and on about some things that didn't make any sence. He also said some things that I wish he wouldn't have. I seriously am considering to telling him just how much I care about his meaningless things, when I'm trying to study. (sounds pretty hars, I know, but if you'd know all the things he goes on about, I'm quite sure anyone would do the same)

Today at school the guy who was here that one time started an argument with me. Now as much as I like to discuss different perspectives with people, I hate it when people say that my opinion is wrong. If it is a matter of opinion, then there is no right and wrong answer. Sure you can think that your opinion is better and correct, but you don't have the right to start telling someone else that they are wrong if they think in a different way. So anyway, he started to agrue with me about homosexual rights. He was against them and I wasn't. He just kept going on and on about how needless gay-paople are and so on. I was furious! There is a limit to everything!! And also a limit to what you can say. Though I'm straught, many of my friends are not. So I was extremely pissed off when he said that they don't need to have any rights.

I was like: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THIS CONVERSATION OUTSIDE!? I'LL BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU!

But luckily I never needed to. He didn't say anything about it anymore after that. Which I'm glad about. Love is love, you can't help it if you happen to be a girl who likes girls! or a boy who likes boys!

hmmmh.

Today I had so much fun with my friend Kata. We laughed so much! She does these amazing expressions! They just are out of this world! XD
Also the day was pretty good, but I do feel quite sick. I think I'll go lay on my bed for a while and take a nap.

Thank god friday is soon!!! I'm gonna go sleep over to my friends place, if I'm feeling okay. That should be so much fun! : 3

Little tired?

I didn't sleep too well last night. Yet again. This time I woke up at 04.32, and like normal, didn't get any sleep after that. I was dead tired the whole day. I usually never fall asleep in the car on the way home from school (takes about 20-30mins to drive) but this time I did.

Even though I was so tired and was half asleep durning all of my classes, I'm happy to notice that I actually understand the things we're discussing on biology classes. I rather find DNA & RNA facinating so to me learning about them is actually fun. Although I nearly slept on the class, I managed to answer some questions, thus getting some point for being active on the class. ^^

All and all they day wasn't as bad as I imaginated it to be, since this is the only day when I go to school at 08.15 get off from school at 16.00. Usually my day ends 14.30 or 12.30. I'm the type of person who would rather go early and leave earlier, than go to school later and stay there longer.

One other nice thing to day was that I have free time from 11.00 to 13.15 on tuesdays. Me and my friend Kata (Katariina) went to get food from Subway and then came back to school to stuff them down with soda and candy.

Probably the only annoying things today were the fact that my headache is as bad as ever and that one guy (who was here last week) was kind of getting on my nerves. He has to start depeting about EVERYTHING and he thinks he's always the one who's right. That starts to annoy me and quite a few people. He himself knows that he is getting on my and other peoples nervers, but he says it's "fun" and that he "doesn't care". I doupt that. I don't know if he understands that bif he keeps on doing what he does, the way he does it, he won't have too many friends left after a while. I sincerely hope he'll stop. Who knows, maybe he'll grow up a little.